Whole wheat toast and Marmite

Toast and Marmite

Marmite is the sludge left over from making beer, and it is a really popular food in the UK, Australia, and New Zealand.

You might be wondering why I would actually write a recipe for Marmite on toast. I am wondering this myself. Well, there aren’t very many non-fat and low-sugar spreads that you can use on toast. And Marmite is one of them. Unfortunately, it tastes terrible unless you know exactly the right way to make it palatable.

Now, I’m a Canadian, so I’m not naturally able to eat Marmite. I spent a year living in Australia, and they issued me a jar of the stuff* when I arrived, and I was never able to stomach it. But when I came home I married a Brit, and he showed me the secret to eating Marmite on toast, which is this:

You do not spread Marmite on your toast. You scrape it off your toast.

Let me explain. Marmite is disgusting if you eat it in any large quantity. The secret to making it edible is to eat a very, very small amount of it. You don’t want to spread it on your toast like peanut butter, or even butter for that matter. To properly eat Marmite on toast, you spread the smallest amount that you possibly can on your toast, and THEN YOU TRY TO SCRAPE IT ALL OFF. What you have left over is a piece of toast with traces of Marmite on it. That is now something you can eat.

*Whoa, whoa, whoa, I did NOT get a jar of Marmite when I entered Australia. It was a jar of Vegemite, which is pretty much exactly the same thing. Unless you are from England or Australia, in which case they are completely different things.

Toast and Marmite
Prep Time
5 mins
 

Yes, this is a recipe for toast and marmite, also known as marmite on toast. It's harder to make properly and even harder to eat.

Course: Breakfast
Cuisine: Australian, British
Keyword: marmite
Servings: 1
Calories: 138 kcal
Ingredients
  • 1 slice bread
  • trace amount marmite (or less)
Instructions
  1. Toast the bread in a toaster.
  2. On the tip of your knife blade, get a very tiny amount of Marmite, and spread it as thinly as possible over your toast.
  3. Now, pretend that the Marmite is a form of toxic waste, and that you are holding the last piece of bread on earth. Try to get the Marmite off of your toast and salvage the bread.
  4. Enjoy! Or not.